When I began my journey towards healing, I didn’t know how I felt about anything. Experiencing childhood trauma, being raised in an intellectual home, and being in a society that valued the mental over the spiritual all combined to help me lose track of my feelings. I became very adept at navigating the world through my mind. That worked well for a while, until it didn’t. It took deep therapy and several breakdowns to help me access my feelings and learn who I was on the inside.
It’s very easy to slip back into a purely mental approach to life. When I do that, I get headaches and think too much. I can have racing thoughts that feel hard to control. I try to solve problems on a loop that never stops and leads to no real solutions.
I have to check in with my heart regularly to help me stay centered and alive in love. It helps to sit in silence, close my eyes, and send my awareness to my heart. Not my physical heart, but the place where I feel my feelings, in the center of my breastbone. It’s the place that hurt with pain and anger before I began healing, and now the place that blooms with love. I will sometimes put my hand over my heart to awaken it. I will send my heart Reiki and love. Spending time in meditation and prayer, and taking deep, calming breaths helps immensely. I also practice grounding into my feet to help me remember my physical connection to the earth.
When I live connected to my heart, I can have more love for myself and others. I can relax and see the beauty of the people around me. I stop rushing and hurrying and am able to rest in the moment – even feel joy. Learning to experience life through the heart doesn’t mean I don’t still use my mind. I still love to read, think, and learn, but I’ve learned I can do that from a place of peace and wholeness.