Difficult People

When a challenging person appears in your life, it can be a major moment of healing and growth. These experiences are usually not fun in the typical sense of the word, but they can give you a chance to heal at deeper levels than you would have otherwise. I like to believe that the person is there to teach you about yourself and about love, even if they are showing up as something else in that moment. Difficult people are made from love, too.

The story of the “Little Soul and the Sun” from Conversations with God illustrates this amazingly. The basic moral of the story is, “in the absence of what you are not, what you are, is not.” It seems confusing but it makes sense if you sit with it for a bit. When people show up to challenge us, it is a chance for us to know ourselves as love – love of ourselves, and love of the other. It may also be a chance for a lot of other things! In my life, difficult people have often taught me about creating strong boundaries, loving myself, and being kind to myself, as well as seeing the light in the other.

Today, if you encounter a difficult person, I hope you can stay centered in your heart and your light. I hope you can know that you are love, and that you are also loved and loving. It can feel painful, but it is temporary, and you can return to yourself in each moment by anchoring yourself to your heart and to God.

Honoring Yourself

I have written on this topic before, but it always deserves to be mentioned again. It’s so important and can also be so difficult to honor yourself. What does it mean to honor yourself? To me, it means to take care of my heart, to protect and care for it, and to keep myself safe and loved. 

Often, honoring myself comes up in relationships, where I have a tendency to be taken advantage of. I can be too giving, and I have a pattern of letting people into my life who can be self-centered and even mean. I know I play a role in all of this, too, and I know I pattern these relationships after the primary relationships in my family. I also believe it’s a huge area of exploration for me. 

In these types of relationships, I’m learning to honor myself by creating healthy boundaries, and by loving myself even when I’ve been told the opposite. As always, it helps me to know that I am loved by God and that my heart is part of God’s heart. When I am quiet and let God’s love in, I heal my heart. Then it’s easy to honor myself. 

And I don’t believe it’s selfish, even though it can sound that way. By honoring myself I can truly honor others in a way that is whole and honest and true, and the circle is complete.