Forgiving Yourself

What does it mean to forgive yourself? In my life, forgiving myself means returning my heart to the true love of God, stopping the negative self-talk reels that can loop again and again in my mind, and having a soft approach to myself and my heart. It can be so easy to be so hard on ourselves when we’re faced with past mistakes and let downs, but we all need to remember that we’re all here to learn, grow, and become. We weren’t born knowing everything – that’s why we were born. 

“Hurt people, hurt people.” – Will Bowen

This wise quote has truly helped me to remember that the times when I’d acted out and hurt others in the past were truly out of my own pain and sadness and not out of a desire to hurt others. I was in too much pain, and that it turn caused me to make others feel pain. 

If there are times in your life that you’re having a hard time forgiving yourself for, have some compassion for yourself. Do the best you can to halt the negative self-talk and hold yourself in love. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. If it seems appropriate and right, you can reach out to the person you’ve hurt and ask for forgiveness. Whether or not you’ve made amends, you can still come to a place of peace towards yourself as a child of God.

Some concrete ways I’ve done this have been:

  • Mentally walking myself through the situation, blessing and shining light on it, and asking for healing for everyone involved
  • Saying positive affirmations to myself when I find myself reliving difficult situations
  • Breathing & meditating
  • Praying to God and the angels

I hope these thoughts help you! You can forgive yourself. You are a perfect human on a beautiful journey. Be gentle towards yourself.

Tools of the Spirit

I recently had someone reach out to me feeling overwhelmed about the world of healing. She said that she had purchased some crystals and books on chakras, but felt out of her league. I totally identified because I had definitely been there when I started healing. There are so many facets of spirituality and healing, so many schools of thought, and seemingly so much to learn, that it can feel daunting. What if I do it wrong? What if I’m not good at healing? Other people seemed to know so much more than I, and I often felt confused about what was up and what was down in the beginning. 

It took me many turns, many hiccups and some confusion to return to the truth of my experience with God. When my experience first happened, I spent time with different healers trying different practices and trying to understand what the heck had happened to me. I still felt like I needed outside validation to understand it. All of these people taught me a lot, but it took a fair amount time to turn back towards myself and realize that I had everything I needed to learn on the inside. 

Eventually I’ve learned that my heart is just as sacred as anyone else’s, and my inner light comes from God just like the rest of us. Love lies at the center of who we are. Uncovering that love and connecting to it as often as possible is truly the purpose of healing. Yes, tools can be useful, but they are only tools – they can never replace you or your heart, or your connection to God and God’s love. So go ahead and use the tools as a gateway to remembering the truth of who you are, but don’t be intimidated by them.

I wish you a beautiful day filled with love, and a Happy Halloween!

Video: Healing from Depression

Hello and happy Sunday! Here’s my weekly video discussing some of my journey healing from depression, and some ideas and tips. Wishing you love and healing on your journey.

Rest in Peace

The recent kidnapping and discovery of the body of three-year-old Kamille “Cupcake” McKinney in my city has been a tragedy of the highest order. It’s all I can think about this morning as I sit down to write. She was only three years old, kidnapped blocks from my home while playing at a birthday party. This is one of those times when it’s easy to ask “where was God?” It’s terrifying to think that someone would act so cruelly towards a precious, innocent child. 

I can’t make sense of it even though I’ve read and learned so much about God. Some thoughts come to mind, though. God’s world is perfect, I felt that in my experience. It was so beautiful and so full of love. When I realized how far our world felt from that supreme love, I was extremely depressed. 

It’s not God, but people who can be so far away from God’s loving reality. How can someone be so cruel as to abuse and then kill a child? I can only conjecture that there was a history of abuse, neglect, and trauma that spiraled them to the absolute opposite end of love. 

I hope that Kamille didn’t suffer too much before passing. I hope she felt God and the angels with her when she was scared. I hope she went quickly into God’s arms after passing. I hope she knows how many people were searching for her and praying for her. I hope she is at peace. I pray that her family and loved ones find healing. 

Rest in Peace Kamille.

Video: Creating Meaningful Rituals

Hello and happy Sunday! In the midst of an intense week I got to thinking about the importance of daily ritual. Rituals help us stay connected to our hearts, to love, and to God’s peace. Here’s my weekly video on just that topic. Do you have a favorite ritual that keeps you connected? What keeps you close to love?

Going with the Flow/Staying the Course

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Tao Te Ching

There are times in life where we need to let go and flow in the river of life: yielding, releasing, and allowing. Other times we need to stay firm and direct our intentions and actions in the way we wish them to go. There’s a balance in this movement through life – yielding, then pushing, then yielding again – that helps us move towards our goals while allowing life to work through us. 

It can be hard to find this balance. As a child I had no sense of what it meant to go with the flow. After my trauma I compensated for the sad state of my inner life by pushing through life attempting to make creations that were impressive and made me feel worthy. Eventually this strategy ceased working. Healing brought me to my knees and forced me to learn to let life move through me. I found the beauty in letting go and letting life itself direct me. 

Now I like to move between the two approaches: yielding and sensing God’s will for me, then acting when it feels right. Some days I have a tendency to yield too much out of fear. I’ve worked on this a lot to learn to tell when fear is holding me back from action when I know God’s will is for me to move. 

Finding the balance is as easy – and as hard – as just letting go. You were born with God’s love and life force flowing through you. Release your ideas of what should be and allow life to flow through you.