Creating a Dream or a Nightmare

It’s possible for each of us to create a dream or a nightmare out of our lives. Though it seems we are at the whims of fate, we each have the power within us to veer our lives into territory of love or of fear. Much of this has to do with our thoughts and how centered we are in our hearts. Thinking the highest thoughts and focusing on love allows us to bring more love into our lives, like an internal feedback loop. The reverse is true with fear and fearful thoughts.

I write about this because I’ve experienced both in my life. I entered into huge fear territory after my trauma. I didn’t only create a waking nightmare in my life, I had terrifying nightmares each night. I was wracked with insomnia, anxiety, and depression. I’d like to tell you some form of medicine or therapy fixed me, and while they did help along the way, what truly healed me was allowing God and love into my life to do miraculous work.

Then I was able to begin creating a dream. Love entered and cleaned out my system. I felt closer to God and to my true heart. I began feeling more joy and feeling closer to myself – to the me I had been as a child, before my trauma and the nightmares. It wasn’t as hard as it seemed. A little bit of love made way for a whole lot of love.

Now I can veer towards either one, and I have sometimes found myself going back to nightmare land if I’m not careful. At this time last year, I was beginning to hate my job and feel resentful. I had a very powerful conversation with a healer who recommended prayer, telling me, “you change your life through prayer.” It seemed so simple, and though an earlier me would have scoffed at and judged this advice, I went for it. I began praying and actively feeling grateful for my job and position in life, and asking for divine assistance as I worked to create my dreams. I continued to pray and to up my spiritual practices. It almost immediately shifted my experience at my job and in the rest of my life. A year later I’m still at the same job and I now love it and really do feel grateful for it! I have created time for myself to create my dreams. I continue to be grateful for that which I want in my life rather than resentful for that which I don’t.

Now these kinds of practices are hard to understand for me, because I know we have systemic problems in our world that can’t only be fixed by individual effort. That’s something I think about a lot. But if you happen to be reading this blog, I believe that this practice might be really beneficial for you in particular, since you are here.

So go ahead and pray, connect to God and your heart, and see the beauty in the parts of your life that are difficult. Watch your life transform. Bring light into your heart and your life. You deserve to feel beautiful, happy, loved, and held, all of the time.

Video: Connecting to Your Heart

Hello dear readers! Here is a short video I made with some tips to help you connect with your heart. This process was a huge mystery to me as I was raised with no knowledge of or connection to my heart, but it was connecting with my heart that truly healed me.

Wishing you love and connection today and always.

Pausing throughout the Day

In our harried lifestyles, it can be hard to take a moment and connect with your Self. I know I run, go, move around, get stressed, and lose touch with my heart and purpose on this planet frequently. It’s so easy to lose touch with who I am and why I’m here when there are schools, jobs, commutes, and dinner on the table.

Thankfully, there is one amazing tool that always brings me back to myself – breathing. Breathing can be done at anytime, anywhere. The breath connects our spirits with our bodies and calms our minds. It’s so simple yet so profound. 

The main trick is to notice when you are getting stressed and remember to breathe! I have friends who have apps on their Apple Watches to remind them to pause. I try to notice on my own. It can feel hard to stop and breathe when you’re feeling stressed or rushed, but you can breathe while still continuing about your daily duties. You only need to slow down and get still on the inside. 

Happy Breathing!

Video: My Healing Journey

Please enjoy my first official upload to my YouTube channel! Several people have asked me to share videos since they prefer to listen to/watch things rather than to read, so here you go! In this video I talk about highlights of my healing journey, including learning Reiki, learning how to listen to my heart, and my life-shifting experience of the Divine.

Hope you’re having a beautiful Sunday!

My first YouTube Interview!

My dear friend and healer Intuitive Belle just had me on her YouTube channel for a discussion about balancing your spiritual practice with daily life, and about spirituality in general. It was a lot of fun and definitely something new for me.

Hope you enjoy!

I am Not my Body

Well, here I am. I am sorry for being so out of touch for the past week. After some prayer and contemplation I decided to begin blogging once a week while I focus on writing my book and studying for the GREs. I was planning to blog weekly on Wednesdays, which would have been yesterday. However, I ended up in the hospital, where I’m writing to you now. “Heal with Rebecca” indeed!

While I have navigated psychological recovery very deeply, I haven’t had very extreme physical illnesses. The physical ailments I suffered from in my early twenties were, I believe, deeply related to my psychological and energetic state, and I was able to heal them with nutrition, meditation, and alternative healing modalities. Primarily, I used to have uterine and pelvic pain that a doctor told me may be endometriosis. Around that time I started studying Reiki in-depth and deep healing my childhood traumas, and the pain resolved quite quickly. Similarly, I’ve periodically had ocular migraines, which always come on when I’m feeling ungrounded and out of touch with myself. I am usually able to breathe these away with stillness and meditation. 

These kind of practices were radically transformative for me, having been raised in a very medical household where I had easy access to medicine and doctors. I’ve reached a beautiful midpoint between the two worlds, where I am able to appreciate the value of both. I have come to believe many if not most of my health issues had their roots in my spiritual state. At the same time, I’ve learned to see that western medicine is very useful and even beautiful when it is needed. I’m amazed when I think of the years of research that scientists and doctors have conducted while searching for cures for the most difficult illnesses.

That brings me to yesterday, when I ended up in the Emergency Room for spreading numbness in my limbs. Having developed a close relationship with my body over the years, this numbness really took me by surprise. I am used to being able to breathe, meditate, or use healing foods to help my sicknesses and ailments go away, and this was not doing that! The numbness began in my arm on Monday, spreading to my feet and my other arm by Wednesday. No pain, just numbness. Tingling, limbs falling asleep, numbness.

Of course, this is a strange feeling, and reading the internet and talking to doctors can make things seem quite dire. What if the numbness continues to spread? What if I do have a suspected Guillain-Barre Syndrome? Guillain-Barre can be extremely debilitating, possibly requiring a breathing machine as your nerves stop working and paralyze your whole body. Thankfully, it’s temporary, but imagining going through that process is terrifying. 

I came to some peaceful realizations that helped me a lot yesterday as I faced these fears. I was reminded that I have a body, I am not my body. That thought helped me a ton. I believe that my soul lives forever, so even if my body fails me or does some things that are unexpected, my soul is still just fine. I also remembered that God is in charge, and I did some strong, big prayers to God, Jesus, and the angels, and felt very held and loved. And of course, I reached out for prayers from family and friends. Hearing from friends and family thinking of me and praying for me helped me feel so much better.

We’ll see what happens over the next few days. I’ll keep you posted on the blog when I am able to. Maybe it will all resolve and I’ll be back at work on Monday, or maybe it’s a dire situation. Either way, I’m very grateful to have a caring medical staff here at the hospital, a loving God holding me, and the beautiful love of friends and family.