Letting Nature Guide You

As I write to you, I’m sitting outside in our pocket of the city, listening to birds begin their chirping and watching the sunlight begin to brighten the sky. Though we live in an industrial city, I’m grateful for the pocket of nature we’ve created for ourselves. It’s never far from my mind that this land was once a forest populated by First Peoples who lived in greater harmony with the land. Though I live in this now-industrial city in a capitalistic society, nature is still here. Nature comes from God. Following the breath of nature puts us in touch with the heart of God.

Growing up, I did not know how out of touch I was with nature until I learned how to be in touch with it. My stepdad in particular taught me so much about being in touch with trees and all things growing, and how to have a true respect for the land. He taught me about the four directions, plants to eat and use, how to plant seeds with care and love, and how to care for and be in touch with the earth. Until that time I had such a profound disconnection from nature that mirrored my disconnection from myself and my heart. 

Environmental news these days can be devastating, but it is not the end. We are still here. We still have a chance each day to connect and care for nature. If you live in a city, is there are park nearby? Can you visit public lands? Plant beautiful houseplants? I find the most effective connection I make to nature is when I care for the small land around me by gardening and looking after the birds that make their homes in the trees around us. Let nature guide you by spending time in whatever natural habitat you can get to. You will feel your heart open and your breath slow. Nature comes from God. Nature heals. 

Seeing the Good

I admit that sometimes it is hard to see the good in people and things around us. We live in a beautiful world that is also full of pain, hardship, and suffering. Is it trite or even cruel to see the good when we know others are suffering? In my own life, I have found it’s always good to see the good, not in order to deny the bad or difficult, but to allow the good to grow.

I would not have healed if everyone around me were only seeing the negative in the world. I needed visionaries who could see past pain and see beauty and love in me, and in the world around me. I held onto those people’s conceptions until I could walk into them too. These people saw love in me, where I saw sadness and woundedness. They saw meaning in my trauma, where I saw chaos. It is possible to see good in the world. It is also possible to be honest about the areas of your life and our world that need healing and attention. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

Seeing the good for me truly comes from a place of being in touch with God and love in my heart. I clear away the clutter of my mind and my thoughts and sit in that place of peaceful love. There, things are at peace, and I am at peace. It’s easier to see the good from there and easier to allow it to grow. I believe the world and all people are basically good. It comes from the heart.

Raising Your Vibration

To live in a high vibration means to be connected to your true heart- to love, joy, and peace. When I think of raising my vibration I think of times when I’ve felt very happy and free. It didn’t have much to do with my external surroundings. It mostly had to do with how much I was connecting my heart to the heart of God, and how much I was letting go of behaviors and thought patterns that distanced me from that peace.

The truth of you, your soul and essence, already lives at a high vibration. How can you connect to your original God self? Different things work for different people. It always helps me to pray and meditate. It helps me to get an energy healing. There are many people in my daily life who don’t believe in energy healing. I simply like to think of it as a shower for your energetic body. You get dirt and grime on yourself and take a shower. Likewise, you can get emotional and energetic buildup from all kinds of things in your daily world and need a Reiki treatment or energy healing. They can be so powerful and have truly helped me on many points of my journey. Aside from prayer, meditation and energy healing, it helps me to pay attention to any unhealthy thought patterns and let them go. It also helps me to eat healthy, “clean” foods as much as possible.

Living from a high vibration can feel amazing. It can put you in touch with who you’re meant to be, and who you truly are. In our world that can seem so far from peace, it can also help build peace. Your connection to source and love can also help others connect to their own source and love. I wish you a high vibration of love today and every day. 

Making Sense of an Experience of the Divine

Before I had my experience, my life was pretty ok. I had done a lot of healing and while things weren’t perfect, I wasn’t really doing anything “wrong” in my life. I was in graduate school. I studied. I had friends. And then I had this beautiful and heart-opening experience of God that really changed my perspective, my heart and my life. It took me a long time to make sense of that experience. I struggled with it. I ignored it. I pretended it hadn’t happened. I got angry at God. 

It wasn’t easy to make sense of an experience that is not talked or taught about in my culture. Not only was it not talked about, in my household I had been conditioned to believe that it was a sign of insanity. Experiencing so much beauty in a world that seemed to struggle so much was also extremely tough because it didn’t match up. Making sense of such an experience has taken years.

I found trusted confidants to talk about my experience with, which helped me to feel safer and to learn to accept the truth of what I felt and saw. I also spent a long time reasoning out what made sense about my experience and thinking about what it meant. I reasoned that my experience made me a better and happier person, and that could only be good. Unfortunately, but maybe predictably, I did spend a long time pretending it hadn’t happened, ignoring it because it seemed so out of touch with my regular life. I also got really angry at God for letting me have such an amazing experience and then leaving me on this planet that could seem so far from peace, love, and joy. 

It’s taken a long time, but I’ve made some sense of it. I’ve accepted that God is real and that it’s ok to have these kinds of experiences, especially when they make a person happier and more whole. I’ve also realized that our world is and can be beautiful, when seen the right way. We just have to work together and help each other, with love. And I’ve realized that God is right here with us, we need only to get in touch with God in our hearts. I still have a lot of moments of doubt and struggle, but I’m making peace with them. 

Have you had an experience of the Divine? I’d love to hear your perspective. Share in the comments! 

Learning to Love

In the years after my trauma, I did not know how to love myself or other people. I surrounded my heart with protective steel walls. No one could hurt me if I couldn’t feel anything. It felt safe, but it led to me hurting other people, and to me feeling sad and emotionally numb. I was still myself, but I wasn’t connected to the world or people around me. To look at pictures of me from that time, I still seem like myself, and I’m sure if you asked my friends from that time if I seemed cold, numb or depressed, they may not have noticed. But I noticed. It was a learned way of being that I’ve thankfully mostly unlearned.

How did I learn to love? It’s taken a long time and it’s happened in many ways over many years. My biggest shift occurred when I began healing myself by trying to feel my heart. I began listening as closely as possible to my internal guidance. I felt my heart guiding me and I started really listening to it. After my trauma, I did not listen to my heart. My heart was hurting so much, and I had been told it was my fault. I did everything I could not to listen to myself. It helped me to do well at school and succeed in the physical world around me, but it did not help me heal or feel happy.

It also helped me to learn about alternative modes of healing. Finding a trusted healer helped me immensely. I also learned about the spiritual side of life, and the concept of God, angels, and unseen helpers that are with us throughout our lives. Once I opened the door a little bit, I received so much help from the other side.

It also helped to have my family structure shift. My parents, who had been in an unhappy relationship for years, finally divorced, and my mom remarried my stepdad. He saw the good side in me, one my parents had never been able to see until then, and it really changed my life.

To sum it up, the main things that have helped me learn to feel love again have been (1) listening closely to my heart, (2) opening my life up to God & the angels, and (3) having supportive people in my life. If you’re not sure how to open your life up to God, it’s ok. I didn’t really believe in that when I started. You can just say a small prayer and ask God and your angels for help. I really believe it works.

Learning to love is a journey that is unique to you. I hope some of the things I’ve learned along the way can help you find some ideas for your own path. It is possible to love again. Wishing you love today and always.

The Joy of Knowing God Exists

During and immediately after my experience of God, I felt pure bliss, joy, peace, and love. It was like being connected back to my true self, the one I’d only dared to hope was real, but generally didn’t believe in. However, living after that experience was much more difficult than I expected. Even though I had felt God’s true peace, I really had to work to see it in my life and in the world around me. It was, and still is sometimes, surprisingly disappointing. And yet, overall, knowing God exists is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. It’s completely changed my outlook on everything, and allowed me to find peace when I didn’t think peace would ever be possible.

When I went through my trauma and the years after, I felt completely alone and hopeless. I didn’t even know hope existed. I was lost. I covered it up pretty well, but a big part of me was living in a very sad, disconnected, and terrible place. After a while, I got used to it and stopped noticing how sad I was. I didn’t even think to hope that there could be more. I had given up.

My breakdowns during and after college forced me to remember a part of myself that I had been hiding. Only then did I remember I had a heart. My first healer truly helped me to return to my heart by seeing the person I had buried within all those many years ago. From there I kept working and healing to try to feel my heart, which eventually led me to God. 

Having had this experience of God, I truly feel there is a reason to live. I know we are here to live out a spiritual reality, and that our bodies are the tools by which we do this. I believe this whole world is a physical emanation of God. Living closer to God makes the world closer to God’s world. And I’ve even come to believe that my trauma happened for a reason, even though at the time it was the worst feeling in the world. Without it I don’t think I would have been able to have the beautiful experience of God that I did. It was also worth it because I am able to share and help others heal as well.

Now, when I get sad or feel lost, I believe God is still with me, and I don’t feel so alone. Believing in God has shifted and changed my life in more ways than I can imagine, and I’m so grateful.

What God Means to Me

I spend some time on this blog writing about God. God is a big word about which many people have many feelings and beliefs. It can be hard for me to use that word and know it may mean different things to different people. Mostly, I don’t want my use of the word to turn people off or away, because it can be a heavy word, and because many people have had difficult experiences with religion in childhood and beyond.

I was raised at a religious crossroads, having three major religious and spiritual traditions at different points in my life – Judaism from my dad, Christianity from my mom, and Native American Spirituality from my stepdad. I am grateful for these traditions and the people who shared them with me. 

And I am grateful for my own life-changing experience of God. Because of this experience, and because of the worlds I was raised among, when I write about God I mean ~ love, wholeness, completeness, peace, and joy. God is everything all together. God is in my heart. God is in your heart. God feels beautiful. God feels good. God feels safe. God is in me. God is in you.