After I had a beautiful experience of the Divine, the daily world seemed really awful. I didn’t like it. I wanted to leave it. I could not see all the beauty of God in the world around me. Over time, I’ve learned to see beyond appearances into the divine light within – most of the time. OK, a lot of the time. At least, definitely more than some of the time! I’ve also gotten better at connecting to love and God in my heart and bringing that into my world instead of letting the world overtake me.
Learning to keep this experience of God in my life alive has been a long climb, and I still work on it every day. I still struggle with understanding how such beauty and love can exist and not always be found around us. I still struggle with understanding how people can harm one another after seeing all the love they truly are beneath it all.
But I know that we are love. And I have come to believe that the best way of keeping that love lit up is to bring it into my own life each day. I can’t wait for the world to learn to love. I have to be that every day for myself and for those around me. Then I can keep that experience rippling out into the world. You are love, and I am love, and all we are is love. I wish you a chance to be love for yourself and for others today.
Before I had my experience, my life was pretty ok. I had done a lot of healing and while things weren’t perfect, I wasn’t really doing anything “wrong” in my life. I was in graduate school. I studied. I had friends. And then I had this beautiful and heart-opening experience of God that really changed my perspective, my heart and my life. It took me a long time to make sense of that experience. I struggled with it. I ignored it. I pretended it hadn’t happened. I got angry at God.
It wasn’t easy to make sense of an experience that is not talked or taught about in my culture. Not only was it not talked about, in my household I had been conditioned to believe that it was a sign of insanity. Experiencing so much beauty in a world that seemed to struggle so much was also extremely tough because it didn’t match up. Making sense of such an experience has taken years.
I found trusted confidants to talk about my experience with, which helped me to feel safer and to learn to accept the truth of what I felt and saw. I also spent a long time reasoning out what made sense about my experience and thinking about what it meant. I reasoned that my experience made me a better and happier person, and that could only be good. Unfortunately, but maybe predictably, I did spend a long time pretending it hadn’t happened, ignoring it because it seemed so out of touch with my regular life. I also got really angry at God for letting me have such an amazing experience and then leaving me on this planet that could seem so far from peace, love, and joy.
It’s taken a long time, but I’ve made some sense of it. I’ve accepted that God is real and that it’s ok to have these kinds of experiences, especially when they make a person happier and more whole. I’ve also realized that our world is and can be beautiful, when seen the right way. We just have to work together and help each other, with love. And I’ve realized that God is right here with us, we need only to get in touch with God in our hearts. I still have a lot of moments of doubt and struggle, but I’m making peace with them.
Have you had an experience of the Divine? I’d love to hear your perspective. Share in the comments!