Please enjoy my first official upload to my YouTube channel! Several people have asked me to share videos since they prefer to listen to/watch things rather than to read, so here you go! In this video I talk about highlights of my healing journey, including learning Reiki, learning how to listen to my heart, and my life-shifting experience of the Divine.
Well, here I am. I am sorry for being so out of touch for the past week. After some prayer and contemplation I decided to begin blogging once a week while I focus on writing my book and studying for the GREs. I was planning to blog weekly on Wednesdays, which would have been yesterday. However, I ended up in the hospital, where I’m writing to you now. “Heal with Rebecca” indeed!
While I have navigated psychological recovery very deeply, I haven’t had very extreme physical illnesses. The physical ailments I suffered from in my early twenties were, I believe, deeply related to my psychological and energetic state, and I was able to heal them with nutrition, meditation, and alternative healing modalities. Primarily, I used to have uterine and pelvic pain that a doctor told me may be endometriosis. Around that time I started studying Reiki in-depth and deep healing my childhood traumas, and the pain resolved quite quickly. Similarly, I’ve periodically had ocular migraines, which always come on when I’m feeling ungrounded and out of touch with myself. I am usually able to breathe these away with stillness and meditation.
These kind of practices were radically transformative for me, having been raised in a very medical household where I had easy access to medicine and doctors. I’ve reached a beautiful midpoint between the two worlds, where I am able to appreciate the value of both. I have come to believe many if not most of my health issues had their roots in my spiritual state. At the same time, I’ve learned to see that western medicine is very useful and even beautiful when it is needed. I’m amazed when I think of the years of research that scientists and doctors have conducted while searching for cures for the most difficult illnesses.
That brings me to yesterday, when I ended up in the Emergency Room for spreading numbness in my limbs. Having developed a close relationship with my body over the years, this numbness really took me by surprise. I am used to being able to breathe, meditate, or use healing foods to help my sicknesses and ailments go away, and this was not doing that! The numbness began in my arm on Monday, spreading to my feet and my other arm by Wednesday. No pain, just numbness. Tingling, limbs falling asleep, numbness.
Of course, this is a strange feeling, and reading the internet and talking to doctors can make things seem quite dire. What if the numbness continues to spread? What if I do have a suspected Guillain-Barre Syndrome? Guillain-Barre can be extremely debilitating, possibly requiring a breathing machine as your nerves stop working and paralyze your whole body. Thankfully, it’s temporary, but imagining going through that process is terrifying.
I came to some peaceful realizations that helped me a lot yesterday as I faced these fears. I was reminded that I have a body, I am not my body. That thought helped me a ton. I believe that my soul lives forever, so even if my body fails me or does some things that are unexpected, my soul is still just fine. I also remembered that God is in charge, and I did some strong, big prayers to God, Jesus, and the angels, and felt very held and loved. And of course, I reached out for prayers from family and friends. Hearing from friends and family thinking of me and praying for me helped me feel so much better.
We’ll see what happens over the next few days. I’ll keep you posted on the blog when I am able to. Maybe it will all resolve and I’ll be back at work on Monday, or maybe it’s a dire situation. Either way, I’m very grateful to have a caring medical staff here at the hospital, a loving God holding me, and the beautiful love of friends and family.
Saying affirmations and statements in the form of I Am is an extremely powerful force that can set into motion the truth of who you are and wish to be. I’ve been working on being more aware of the messages I tell myself – I often fall into a trap of unconsciously telling myself that I Am things I don’t truly desire to be based on childhood messaging. Changing those messages by consciously crafting and repeating I Am statements can help turn the tide. Spend some time today writing five to ten I Am statements that help bring you into the person you know you can be.
Here’s a song I heard last year is a great reminder of some basic and very positive I Am statements that you might enjoy! Have a great Monday!
I personally believe we are all here to be “Christed,” that is, to learn and live into our oneness with God. Though I know it might not seem like the purpose of life from looking at the news or going to work, my experiences and the things I’ve learned have led me to this belief. In the process of being Christed and becoming aware of our union with God, we may have highs and lows. We may rise to beautiful experiences of love only to fall to depths of sadness later. I’ve definitely been there. The important thing is to be patient with yourself, and to remind yourself why you’re here. It takes time.
Whether you are just beginning to heal, or are continuing on this journey, try to center yourself in your heart as much as possible. As I began healing, I did not know left from right or up from down. I did not know who I was or why I was here. It was important then, as always, for me to center myself in my heart, and to lead myself from there. It was the only truth in a world of untruths and unholy moments. Center yourself in your heart and you will be led to yourself. Center yourself in whatever urge you feel arising from your heart, and you will eventually find love. You were born to do this. You are beyond capable of healing. This is why you are here.
Healing your heart starts with getting still and centered. Healing your heart is the path to the self and to joy. To heal the heart, begin by bringing awareness to your heart center. You will feel it with some attention and patience. There is your connection to God, and there you can feel great love once you’ve cleared the debris of your wounds.
I used to have a great deal of anger and sadness in my heart center. At first, I was unaware that it was even there. But once I began healing in earnest, I focused my energy on trying to feel my heart. I knew at a base level that it was covered up with something. I felt my heart to be somewhat detached and removed. It was not a great way to go through life but it was all I knew. I suspect I wasn’t the only one walking around removed from my heart.
Healing my heart meant listening to myself. To heal your heart, get still. Listen to yourself. Ask your angels, guides, and God to help you heal your heart. You will not be left alone. I believe you will be guided to your highest good and most holy healing. Your heart is your connection to God. Awakening that connection will allow you to live a fuller, truer, happier life – which is something you deserve, and were born for.
Healing means to be made whole. When we talk about healing, we talk about feeling better in our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Some say that healing spiritually will heal a person at many levels, including physically. It’s a philosophy I’ve grappled with a lot and one that I’ve seen happen in my life and read about in others. Anita Moorjani, an author and teacher I greatly admire, was healed of cancer in her NDE experience by reconnecting to God, and writes bravely and beautifully about her experiences.
I’ve also seen the opposite, where I’ve had illnesses that couldn’t possibly have been healed without medicine. I needed medicine to get better, and I was grateful for modern medicine’s advances. I have friends on both sides of this philosophy, and some, like me, rest somewhere in the middle. Prayer, energy healing, and changing one’s thoughts can be a powerful impetus for healing, and at the same time, western medicine can be life-saving. I think the difficulty comes in choosing one philosophy exclusively.
I was raised to only take medicine and had ample access to all kinds of prescriptions and medical care as a child of a physician, but I never knew how to take my spiritual state into account when I was healing. Eventually, in my quest to heal, and having exhausted the western medical model, I began exploring the spiritual side of life, and found many practices that truly helped me heal. I learned to heal my energy, how to eat a healthier diet, and practices to restore my heart to light and to love, which I believe healed my endometriosis, anxiety and insomnia.
That was a big departure from my childhood and one that I’m truly grateful for. But that doesn’t mean that western medicine has no place in healing! It must be a balance. I truly believe that.
What are your favorite healing practices? Where do you fall on the spectrum?